Ugly p5

Welcome to the Summer of Love.


Sounds like the title of a song.


We didn't see that father for a week or so, but he came back. Mothers and fathers they would leave for a week or so and come back. There were plenty of others around, but I noticed, Every time they did not come back for a day, I would wondered if they were gone for ever. I was so happy when they would come back.


I loved the 'Summer of Love'.


It was the year they fixed my face. It was the year music was in my life the most.


It was the year that, other than my mother, I felt the most excepted in my life.


Strangers sung to me. The woman in the park, who had a big laugh. She expected everyone laugh when she did. I remember, I know people say you can't remember that far back, they are wrong, sitting in the park. I was a little sad, the mothers and fathers were more interested in other people than me. She came and sat down next to me and sang:

"Oh sit there, oh count those raindrops

Oh, feel ’em falling down, oh honey all around you.

Honey don’t you know it’s time,I feel it’s time,Somebody told you ‘cause you got to know

That all you ever gonna have to count on

Or gonna wanna lean on

It’s gonna feel just like those raindrops do

When they’re falling down, honey, all around you.

Oh, I know you’re unhappy."

She kiss my forehead and tries to go off with her friends after one of my mothers noticed someone else around me. My mother with red hair seemed really happy to see the woman. She told her she'd seen her in Monterey. They must have been friends. There were a lot of people in Monterey when we went.

Later in my years I realized it was a music festival I had remembered. I didn't know at the time, why all the musicians were on a stage, when I was used of them being on the ground next to me. Though I had seen musicians and others on stage before they came into the crowd afterwards.

Earlier that year, I was about 9 months old, I went to the 'human be-in'. So many people. Other children. Other mothers. Other fathers. People who just talked, people who sang. It seemed to be very important to my mothers and fathers. It was so important my mother reminded me of it later. Maybe my memories are hers put on me. Put into me. Osmosis. Some things stay in you. Even if you are too young for anyone to think you should remember.

I do remember a lot of love. I was bombarded with it. Except for when I wasn't. That sounds silly. But it is true. If you are bombarded with love for more than you are not, you remember it. You remember it later when you the pendulum swings the other way.

For most people the pendulum started swing the other way when you get into your teen years. You start talking about your world and your parents, or whom ever is raising you, realized they haven't a clue who you are. All they know is they want that child back. The one that was so easy to love. Who's problems were not so big. when their presents were everywhere. They always knew were the children where. Now a teen. The children are running away from them faster then they can catch up. Until one day they are gone forever.

It came quicker for me. I was far from my teen age years. But I am getting a head of my self.

My mother rejected me. My mothers loved and accepted me. I did not know my father. My biological one. But every man seemed to watch over me and care for me. I had many.

Sometimes other children the hippies had would look at me funny and say things. That was until their mother's caught them. They would make them come over and play with me. Told them it was not right to reject me because of how I looked. I was special because of how I looked. Our flower family had to watch over the special ones. We were as if we were all part of one family when children were around.

I don't remember my mothers names. My mother didn't seem to care what there names were. The mother who got me in the park was the one who called me Papillion, Butterfly. After my birthmark on my face, both sides, she said reminded her of the wings of a butterfly. "It looks like God gave you face paint." She would talk to me as if it made me special. She and the others often painted things on their face. Flowers. Peace signs. Words. What ever they felt like. She and the other mothers would make daisy chains and place the wreath on my head so I could wear flowers the way they did. She would say "Les papillons love playing around the flowers." And I would laugh.

I remember my mothers made me a hat. It is a white little hat. Like a Gilligan's hat. It was my favorite. My mothers cut out felt animals to decorate the hat. They sewed on a turtle, a frog, a tiger and, of course a butterfly. It was too big and would fall down and cover my eyes until I was three years old.

My mothers made it special because my fathers wanted to take me fishing. They had gotten together one night, smoked pot and were talking about their childhoods. They thought back and as they did they all came up with many stories. One story that ran through them all was going fishing with their fathers. They found this to be a common experience children have with their fathers. Each in turn took me fishing.

Since I had just started to walk they did more catching of me then catching fish. By the second father it was a game I was found of. The third father lost a fish when I ran from him. His long yellow hair came around me as he caught me and we stopped. He laughed for 5 minutes. Mostly at his first anger at loosing the fish and second that he waited 2 seconds before he realized I was more important.

The fourth, the oldest, he had dark long hair with a bushy beard. When I ran. he laughed, but didn't follow. I would run back. He would laugh and scoop me up and kiss my check. I would run again. He laughed again. I ran back again. This went on many times. Until the last. I was running away looking back at him to see if he was looking at me. He wasn't. The wind blew off my hat to the edge if the grass. I went to grab it. I tripped and fell in with the hat. I tried ti get up but the rocks were slippery.

I took in a big gulp of water as I tried to scream.

All of a sudden I was lifted up. I thought I was dead. I started throwing up. He was breathing hard. He was wet, too.

"Emma! You scared the life out of me!"

I started breathing air again and stared throwing up again. I was scared. He never yelled at me before. I thought he hated me for running away like my mother hated me for my face.

I looked up from the ground. I looked at his face. I wanted to see the face that loved me without question.

I saw him crying. For the first time in my life. I saw the strongest of my fathers crying. He was the one everyone looked up to when life was too much to bare. The burdens seemed overwhelming. He sorted it all out. A rock of streaghth everyone turned to. The sound of wisdom and sound judgment. The one who really deiced what had happened to me. He was the one who took me to the doctor. He was the one who put into action to raise the money. He is sitting on the ground crying. He has no strength. He has no answer.

I cry too.

I get up and walk over and hug him.

"Emma, I thought I lost you. That thought was too much to bare."

After the crying was done, I went for my hat. It was floating away.

I cried. I loved that hat. This must ave been what he felt. I was his favourite hat.

That is how I thought back then, I was a little child back then, remember.

"Better the hat than you, little one. Your mothers will make you another. " Still I Cried.

He got the fishing pole and tried fishing it out. He failed many times. Even sank it . Some hippie miracle happened and the hook caught it, He dragged it in. When he was done detangling, so happy he got it back for me, the pole fell in. As we watched it float away. He cried. I thought he was sad because he lost the pole and there would be no more fishing trips.

Then he laughed while cradling me in his arms. "Small price , Emma, small fucking price." He smiled and hugged me for a long time as we watched the sun set. "There is a price for everything, Emma, remember that. And some prices you are more than willing to pay. "

When we got back home oldest father told a story about throwing the pole in the water when he realized I was too young for fishing. As he told it I was just the right age for "follow me, Daddy.", which just became his favourite game.

The other fathers were happy not to try to fish with me along. They agreed wholeheartedly. It was settled, no more fishing trips for now.

The Summer of Love was filled with music and flowers. I drank it all in. I would even say I was drunk on it. My mother calling me Ugly could not stop the love I could feel all around me. I knew I was worth my life. I was worth saving. I was worth crying over. After that I never minded if anyone never again cried over the idea of me leaving. It had happened once. It should in every one's life. But once it happened once, it never has to happen again. Otherwise you are just being greedy. And that is a deadly sin, so the preacher has said in church on Sunday.

In case you have never seen Disney do horror

There was a time in his life that he, well, just hated everyone. In his down time he made some horror films. Of course the people running marking re-cut them but here are the original trailers.

Just in case you are wondering, my stories might get sicker as they go on. But it is going along with the horror genre. That and some sick stuff I have seen on the Internet and news and Japaneses Horror films. As the holiday stories go on, please don't wonder about my thought process or what I might have experienced. I know I have said that before. The thought did cross my mind as I was mapping out some more stories.

Every line from the song

She sits down at the bar.

This bar so far from home.

She looks good enough in her tight jean with her lover's name still in them .

She wears her shirt low enough to attract attention.

The hunter sees her intended prey. Her blue eyes narrow in a little. She formulates five or more plans in the matter of seconds.

Her lips part. Perfectly coloured, a dark pink , not quit red, still on this side of respectable from slut. But very close to zero to be redeemed by it.

She walks towards the bar stool with a little swing to her hip.

She thinks of those belly dancing classes they took together. They do come in handy at times. And they tightened her abs so nicely. Those classes remind women how to ooze sex when they had gotten to an age and a weight that they forget. She briefly thinks of a very large woman. She had just turned forty. She looked as sexually dead as she felt. By the end of the 8 weeks Miss Living Large at Forty had her self a beau. Every woman should be require to take those classes.

She takes out her IPhone. Opens up 'to do list' and types 'get BD gift certificate for Jennifer's BD and remind her you are going too'.

She tucks the IPhone away and smiles at the bartender as if they were old friends.

"Lonely tonight, Honey?" He says, knowing he's never saw her before.

"Just broke up with my loser boyfriend, need to find some comfort.... one way or another."

And she sits down. Purposely two seats from her prey. Best not to let her seem to eager. Eager is the downfall of many a huntress. She was taught by Artemis herself. But that was yesterday and a million of those at that.

"What will you have tonight, to south that broken heart of yours?"

"Actually, I will be back in a tic. I want to put some music on." She says with a smile. they both knew it was time for the men to gather around and buy the drinks for her at hopes for some rebound nooky.

She sways to the Jukebox and pick five tunes from the classic rock and county selections.

As she turns around to sway back...

"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and means.."

The desired result. The biker boys playing pool look over their shades with the sly smirk of the satyr, the old drunks just lear outright, and the prey starts planing his next move.

In real life he is far too old for her. But this isn't real life. This is bar life. The rules don't apply. They never applied when loneliness and alcohol mix.

He is not hansom. He is not hansom, did I mention that. That never kept him from believing he was at least an 8. She was really an 8. She thought she was a 6. Right now she knows she is channeling Aphrodite and she is a 10.

She sits down, as predicted there are already 3 drinks waiting for her. One beer, one red wine, one whiskey sour. She looks at the 6 who was 2 seats down but is now right next to her. She picks up the whiskey. He smiles a somewhat missing tooth here and there grin.

It must have shown on her face. He felt a need to explain.

"I'm going to get that fixed as soon as that bitch gets off my back about child support. I'm getting a job under the table then she'll see she couldn't live without me! I will get my teeth fixed then. wont be long, I am a work in progress! Anyhow the new job pays almost twice as much as the last one. I am about to be rolling in it. And it's all mine. " he says as he swigs the beer that some other guy bought for her.

"She must have been a real piece of work!" she says with a smile.

"Yup. I earned the money while she sat on her fat ass plopping out another pup ever 2 years. HA. I should have had the boiiiitttch fixed a long time ago. She kept having just so I could support her fat ass for the next 15 years. Now she will have to figure out how to live without her ATM machine. I don't even think some of them are mine."

"She sounds like a winner. Why'd you stay with her so long?"

"You know, she trapped me with the kids and she wont even let me see them any more. She has turned them against me. Every time I call, they say they don't want to see me. Well, fuck them, I should have beat some real respect into them when I had the chance. She lets them run the place. She can deal with the disrespectful little shits now."

"I'm Jenny, I could tell you whole bunch of shit about my lying cheating lazy arsed boyfriend." She drinks.

With an inward smirk comes to her as James brown starts up. "It's a man's world...."

And all the men smile. They sing it out. Yet they forget the part 'it wouldn't be nothing without a woman or a girl'. The women don't.

It helps set the mood. Relaxes the prey. There is no way he believes he is anything but the hunter.

"I NEVER cheated on that bitch!" he proclaims. "you can trust me never to do that to a woman. Sure I got lots of women friends. They are better to tell your troubles to. But I never fucked them. But she was always jealous. You're not one of those jealous types, are you babe?"

"Naw. I didn't even know something was happening until this bitch showed up at my door with a baby that looked just like his baby picture. I am a very trusting person. I give all my heart. That's why it breaks apart so hard."

"You know, I can help pick up those pieces for you." He smiles. He thinks he's Prince Charming with a side of fries. But he smells like Axe with a side of old piss.

"Give us another." he orders the bartender.

Time for the next song. ' I like my town, with a little touch of poison....' who knew they would have the soundtrack to shriek 2 in there. Too much to ask they would have Tom Waites. But it served the mood.

"Hey, babe, I'll be back, have to drain the dragon." He swaggers towards the toilets.

The drinks come. "You can do better than that, hon. You can do better than anyone in this bar. Please don't go anywhere with him." The bartender look was that of fear and pity for her.

She looks at him. She had to look hard at him. She was relieved to see a man who looked out of those who were in their weak moments. "I am a grown woman! I can take care of myself!"

She closed her purse, as she was searching for something in it, takes the drinks holding them by the top and goes to a table. She places the whiskey in front of her seat and the mug of beer in front of the empty seat.

"Cold, late night so long ago when I was not so strong you know. A pretty man came to me I never seen eyes so blue...." Number 4 on her hit parade.

And right on cue he comes back to the bar. He looks confused. He gets a little look of anger in his eye. The bartender bemused points over to the table where she is smiling on of those some hither smiles you see only in the movies. He smiles and saunters over to her as he sings. "He's a magic mannnnnnn, oh yeah."

She smiles as if she has been impressed. "Come sit and see if you can drink me under the table?"

She turns to the bartender "Three more of these each!" She smiles back at him.

"I'm game." He thinks he's already made her.

The drink the drinks at the table first.

"Let's make this fun. You have to tell something personal before each drink. Something the other would never expect." She smiles.

"Sure, babe, you go first."

"O.k., I stole my last lover from my former best friend."

"Ohhhhhh... that is hash. My kind of woman. Drink up, sugar." She's a spicy one. Can't wait to see what tricks she has for me later. Hope I don't get her too drunk.

"You're turn, magic man!"

"I stole my wife's inheritance and bought myself a truck with it. I deserved it."

"That you did, drink up buddy boy!"

And he does. Quicker than she thought.

"Your turn, pink bunny girl."

"I'm off the grid. I don't exist."

"Ha ha ha, What ever you say bunny, bunny. Drinky, drinky." And she does.

"Your turn... one more secret."

"I liked to ram it up her ass. It was the only hole that was tight enough. Once I even hide a camera and put it up on one of those armature porn sites. I got 13,952 hits. Hey I was a porn star!"

"That you are drink up, bottoms up."

And he does.

"You're turn, little pink pony" He smiles and sways. He's breathing slightly labored.

'Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends All through their high school days Both members of the 4H Club Both active in the FFA After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin' for a bright new world Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl'

"This is my last song. And my last drink."

He smiled a horn dog smile.

She stands. Smiles. She leans into him

And whispers in his ear " I just killed you. Ketamine. You'll be dead soon. And your wife sends her regards."

Stands up again. Before he could say anything. She says loud. "I am a lesbian as of this minute. You convinced me to bat for the other team!" She drinks down her drink. Turns to leave and winks at the bartender all in the twirl. And walks out the door.

He was already staggering to stand and scream the words he was forming before she renounced men. "You BITCH! I'll kill you! You will never know when! You BITCH."

The bar room was already laughing. So loud and hard. No-one really paid him any mind as he fell back in his chair. The horror hallucinations in his mind hitting over and over to new heights. And all he could hear was the words of the song bleeding out his ears.

'Earl had to die Goodbye Earl We need a break Let's go out to the lake Earl We'll pack a lunch And stuff you in the trunk Earl Well is that all right Good Let's go for a ride Earl hey.....'

She had had already driven away. She was down the highway signing the words away. "Well the weeks went by and Spring turned to Summer And Summer faded into Fall And it turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all..."

She picks up the cell phone, puts on the blue tooth, dials the numbers. " Hey, Hon, can you make sure and tell her to wait a few days before she signs the divorce papers. "

At closing time, the bartender tries to wake him from the chair. He falls over.

"I knew the guy would drink himself to death sooner or later."