Time Passes Slowly

Time passes slowly while you are waiting for life to happen.



Winter becomes spring and planting seasons. Children keep growing. Mercy follows me everywhere. She helps me feed the chickens and ducks. She helps me plant the the fields. When Charisma is there she does as well. I have the older girls help me get the soil ready. They are tired of this choir.

The day to day of planting and feeding and gathering eggs leaves my mind to wander. It wanders to the clubs, to men I will never have or see again.

The girls are still a little too young to leave by themselves so I can go out to the single bars or any other place I could find a man and not scare them away immediately by four fighting children. Maybe in another year, so I count down the days until Freedom turns 13. She should be old enough to watch her sisters while I nip out for a few hours once a week.

Until then, I decided I will just take the girls out to all the little fairs and festivals around town. Socialize enough to be known. Not seen as a freak. Or if nothing else, be around enough that it bothers the old bitches.

With Spring comes Strawberry festivals all over New England. These as usually sponsored by the churches in the center of these towns. Our town was just the same. So I packed the girls up and off we went.

Sack races, face painting, children singers, strawberry pies and other strawberry like pastries for sale.

We did it all. I cheered the girls on. Charisma fell in the egg race. Before I could get to her Tom had picked her up. I nodded thanks to him. He smiled back.

Later the girls wanted a snow cone and cotton candy each with a hot dog. I have told them before the Strawberry festival not to ask me for anything because we ate before and we will eat after. I realize that $20 for my girls all to have these things each is not much to many people, but that can be the whole weekends worth of food for all of us. I tried to say many things to them to get them to stop, but they were using public pressure to their leverage.

I heard one guy say "cheapskate, get your kids some food."

Oh I stopped and looked him right in the eye. I was about to explain the difference 7between cheep and poor using him and what ex wife says about him paying his child support had said about him when Tom saved his lousy judgmental-throwing -stones-in-glass-houses butt. How he save him? Before I could say what was in my mind, Tom had already bought the children all what they wanted.

I opened my mouth to protest, I don't want to be seen as so poor I would take from strangers, When he said "Hey, Emma, I am so glad you let me pay you and the girls back for the dinner you cooked for me and mother last week when she was ill." He handed me a burger and soda.

Tom looked at the jerk who made the remark "Hey, Joe, I see you didn't bring your kids, why not?"

"The bitch wouldn't let me have them, it's my weekend, too!" Joe said angrily looking at me.

"She usually only does that when you are more than a month behind in the old child support checks." Tom said with a smile as she led me and the girls away from the mother hating bitter ex husband.

"Don't mind him, he's a douche and everyone knows it " Tom said to me.

"Thanks. But I don't like to take charity. " I said back. "I really need to pay..." before I could reach into my purse or finish my sentience Tom stopped me.

"Hey, no, it's not like that. I just wanted to shut Joe up. Thank you for letting me put him in his place. He has been rubbing on my very last nerve for over a year now."

I looked at him as if I half believed him.

"If it makes you feel any better you can make me a supper. Than it is a truth. I could use a woman's home make meal any way. Tomorrow night? "

" That's fine, what do you like to eat?" I said hoping it wasn't something expensive.

"I'm not fussy, anything really. Just whatever your girls would eat on Sunday night. "

"Alright than, don't forget your mom." I said as we shook on it.

"Why would I bring her?"

"Because you told Joe I made supper for both of ya. I don't want to make a liar out of you." I said with a grin.

The girls and I parted with Tom and finished our day at the fair.



Sunday I was anything but lazy. I spent the morning cleaning.

The afternoon I was trying to make a Sunday meal that would be fitting of company.

I made some corn bread.

I had some wine left over from Christmas.

I made some brown rice.

I have chicken, mushrooms, garlic, ginger, pepers, onions, celenrto and soem itialian seasonings and cracked pepper. I put it all together with some of the wine. A little for the chicken a little for me.

I defrost a pie for deseart.

All came together by the time Tom and his mother showed up.

Tom's mom said to me apone entering my house, "I undestand you have to feed us to make my sure my son is not a liar. That is a good a reason as any to get out of the house and not have to cook."

She enjoyed the girls and we had a little too much wine all of the adults.

The food went over well and it was a much better evening than I suspected it might be.

The evening ended short as school was still in session at least for a few more weeks.

Could it be I might actually make some friends in this place?

Who knows but it's worth a ponder.

As we said our goodbyes Tom's mum said "Next time dear, have a proper date with my son." She winked as she said. " I can watch the little darlings."

"MOM! This was just her paying me back for the carney food at the church. " He smiled at me as if to say she was senile.

"Tom, next time ask the girl out proper!"

This was going on all the way to the car. I closed the door but listened through it at the same time.

The court of the Chrimism King

Christmas morning we woke I started making pancakes for 10. It felt good. Eggs, scrambles, sunny side up, pooched, pancakes, plain and candy cane flavor. I felt more like a short order cook than a blues musician. I felt there was a lot of love going on in my house, more so than I had in a very long time.

Girls wanted to open presents, I wanted to wait until after church. JuJu Bee scold me for torchering my children and they all ganged up against me to open one each.

Mercy and Charisma opened a Barbie each. Solace and Freedom opened up a CD each. Chumbawamba and Mariah Carey. They had me open one too. A Bob Dylan album I never saw before, Time out of Mind. Music all around. I put it in while we all got dressed. Bob was sounding more like an old blues man but not quit there yet.



Oh, dressing for church was a spectacular to behold. Mizty was telling each of the girls they could not look like their club slut selves but like a good church going woman and if they couldn't pull that off they needed to dress like a man.

Walking into to church, slightly late as to make the perfect entrance, was something I wish I had my camera for. Eric and Mizty went in first. Mizty in modest heals and a light blue tasteful tweed dress with fox trim on her stole.

The next two dressed as men, with pencilled in thicker brows and thin mustaches.

Next was JuJu Bee, in red. A respectable red dress, but red none the less. with each of my youngest daughters in hand. Now where the whole congregation was skeptical of the sexes of most of the people before, most the men where looking like they were going to pop a button when JuJu came down. They definitely could not tell. I must explain to her that bras are a must for church.

Next my older two daughters followed by me, trying hard not to laugh.

Don't you know that Mizty insisted on sitting near the front. We all sat piece by piece to fit in towards the front. Eric and Mizty in one pew, and so forth back until I covered the rear.

The whole place was silent, including the preacher as we walked in and sat down. At first I don't know if it was the fact Mizty was black or if it was that she was a he that threw them off more. There are no people of colour in my little town. The combination was priceless.

The preacher finally spoke: "Christmas is a time of friends, family, neighbors coming together and worshiping as one. It is a time for loving thy neighbor as they self. It is a time of charity and good will to all humankind. It is un-Jesus like to judge others on his birthday. It is a time of bringing new friends to celebrate his birth to church as Emma has, as Nancy has, and as Alice has done." He waved his hand to each of the woman he was talking about, as I was not the only one bringing people to church today, he nicely pointed it out. " So I say, welcome new friends, lets worship the lord together."

"AMEN, PREACHER" Mizty said as if we were in a Southern Baptist church.

I did giggle a little then into my hand. Tom looked back at me and smiled. I think I have found someone in this town who has a sense of humor.

The rest of the mass went like that. A little Southern Baptist from Mizty, a little jazzing up the tunes from all of the girls. They encouraged my girls to sing the same way, and they did. You know I had to follow suit.

Finally Preacher gave up and asked me to sing a bit with his guitar. Guess who were my back up singers. It seems no-one else wanted to join in. But I think the preacher was having his own good time with it, for what ever reason, maybe he wanted to get back at the nasty women there or he just liked a little pizazz in his music today.




Afterwards, of course , my friends needed to join the precision of well wishers and greeters to the preacher. The men were drooling even more over JuJu Bee. Oh her breasts are real because of the hormones but so is his manly bits. But they couldn't see that. She even got invited out to Christmas dinner by some of the more bolder bachelors in town. One of the boys who dresses like a girl dressed as guy came over and let them all know she was taken.

Tom came up and wished us Merry Christmas and referred to all the queens as ladies, even the ones dressed as men.

"Does he remind you of anyone?" Eric said.

"Just like all the other farmers." JuJu said.

"Let's get home, girls, I want to eat and open presents!"

We laughed all the way home at the reaction in church.



Home. We started on dinner and sang songs of the seasons, opened more presents, laughed and drank some more. I got some nice sexy dresses. The girls some nice toys and music. Freedom even got her own disc-man so she can have her private music.

They were so generous to us.

I was so said when they left that night.

The ghosts of laughter lingered and kept me warm through New Years Day.



My house that was filled with joy and love seemed so lonely all of a sudden.