Saturday, 27 June 2009

Ugly p 27

It has been 2 weeks since I threw out Miles. It is all a blur really. A lot of the boys in my apartment. They take turns watching me and Freedom. And Watching Freedom so I can play in the part or the club. A lot of times we take her with us and have her enjoy the sun and music.

I hadn't seen or heard Oldest Father or Kim since that night. Maybe they were both in my imagination or some weird brain tumor like in a soap opera.

It is a beautiful late summer day in Boston. Lots of tourist in Boston in summer. They are from small towns where people don't play in the park for some spare change, they are either really cheap or really gergious. I sing a lot of old blues songs, or 1960's folk rock. It is popular. But the songs are pretty depressing. Love lost and such. A lot of Janis. Very popular with the women.

Eric today is holding Freedom as I play and sing. He is on the bench, has her in a carriage, ,this makes it look like tourist enjoying my music, more people come that way.

I look down to figure out my next selection.

"Why don't you sing that poppet something more fitting for childhood?" I hear money drop in my case with the request.

I look up.I look at Eric. He is smiling. "I guess this one was real." He says with a snicker.

"One of the boys?" I asked him quietly.

"Not one of my kind, darling, I do believe he is one of yours." Eric is still smiling at the tall man with long dreadlocks standing in front of me.

"Well, Emma, are you going to play something fitting for your daughter? I paid my money. Play my request, Luv." He said with a British accent. But he always had one.

"Hey, what did you call me?" Now I am curious, I had been chassing his ghost for so long, well it seemed so long. But how did he know that name.

"Emma. A good English name." He smiles, the one that files the whole world.

"Only one person called me that."

"Must have been the one who told me your name, then."

I started singing so I could digest this. Luke is dead. Luck called me Emma. And Kim is standing right in front of me. In all of my thoughts the best I could sing was this.

" Ha. An old girl's song. You can do better than that. She's your daughter after all." He said with a challenging look on his face.

I sit down. How does he know she's mine?

"How do you know she's not his? " I motion to Eric. "He's holding her."

"Because ta queen would have to change sex and have her himself, if EVER he was to have a baby, Duck are just not his bag, baby."

Well he is observant. I will give him that. I start singing. More and more people come as I do. I sing to Freedom. She smile's at me.

"Ah, now that is better. Her smile is just like her Ma's How could she be anyone else's child."

"Answers. NOW. Kim."

Now it was his turn to be shocked a bit.

"What, you think you were the only one with mystical powers? I thought I would open a juju shop in Salem. 'Madame Butterfly'" I said smiling at him, it was the only thing I had, I needed to use it before he introduced himself.

"So ya Ma told ya I was coming?"

"No, we don't talk." The night at the ER, I think back, 'Some guy was looking for you' maybe I should have called her back to talk a bit the next day. Damn.

"Oh, ta shame. A child should always talk to their Ma."

Who is he to say. Now I am getting pissy. "Not of they never acted like one and gave you up and than denied you to your siblings."

He has his hands up now. "Whoa, too much anger, little one. I came to find you, not talk about ya ma."

"Why did you come here, to find me, calling me a name that no-one has called me since I was about 4? Who told you the name?"

"Ma Da told me about you, gave me photos when he visitied me and Ma. Gave us money when he could. Gave me photos of you and him, said I had a sister."

"Well it ain't me, babe. I have no father."

Kim takes an envelope out of his bag. Opens it and hands the photos to me. They are of me and Oldest Father. There is one of a little boy and a woman and oldest father.

"Ah, that one's me and me ma and me da." He is smiling at these old photos.

"So you are Luke's son?" I was astonished.

No wonder I was so attracted to him, so drawn to him. There must be a piece of oldest father in his dark body that called to me.

" I heard he died back when I was abut 6. I'm sorry." I said trying to look distrote.

"That was a long time ago. I had hoped to meet you there. But I as told you were living with your grandparents by than."

"What did he die of." OH, that was insensitive. It was just that I wanted to know since the phone call with Bobbie that night. Again another thing I meant to talk to her about.

" It 'twas the 60's. An OD just like most of the ones who died. I spent a lota nights what ifing when I was younger. But by the time Ma married and me step Da became a Da to me and they had their own, I stopped.. He always said he was your Da." He looked at Freedom, touched her head. "He would have loved this little one."

"He was a good guy, from what I remember. Always acted like as father to me, but truth be told my mother has no clue who fathered me, too many orgies around the time I was conceived. Too many men. He was just one who stuck around." I look at him

"Your Ma told me something similar, less tarty version, but still insisted you were not my sister."

"Sorry, I am not your sister, but that means we can date. "

He looked at me with a bit of ick on his face.

"Or not if I am that repulsive." I started picking at my guitar again hoping to end that awkward moment.

"No, not at all, you are a lovely lass, a bit young for me, but lovely."

"I have a kid, I get that, too much baggage."

"No, I have been told since I was 6 years old, that I have a sister. And she is you. And you still might be, we just don't know. Da was citrine, said you had his grands nose and hands."

"You do realize we are not talking 3 men here, that we are talking dozens upon dozens of men?"

"Oh, girlfriend, your mom got her freak on!" Eric chimed in, loving this, he really never knew this about me.. He covers Freedom's ears "But, I don't think baby Free should hear the slutty details about her grandmother.

Kim looked half amused at Eric. "It just means it is 1 in 12 or 1 in 14 chance, but the chance is there. My Da, my step Da, has a bit of money, did well for 'im self back home in England. My Ma said she would pay for the test. We can know for sure. It is all I ask of you, than I will leave ya if ya want either way. I just want to know."

"Blood tests are crap, so we might have the same blood type, half the guys probably did."

"DNA, Luv. They can tell if we had the same Da pretty accurately. Will ya? "

I looked around. He seemed so real, all he asked is if I was his sister. It would be nice to know.

" How painful is this test?" I asked.

"Just some blood, not painful at all, the wait of a few months is the more painful than the blood that will be drawn. Then we can know if this little poppet has an Uncle Kim from England." He smiled as he played with Freedom's hand. " Wouldn't you like that, little one? " He bends back up and looks at me. "And wouldn't it be nice to have big brother? We can never have too many family." He smiled at me.

A brother. A brother who knows about me and likes me and wants to be my brother. A musical brother. A brother that looks like a lion and sings like Bob Marley and has a Brutish accent. A Brother.

"O.k., what do I have to loose."

"Ta, than it is done, we can go right now." He wraps his arms around me and hugs like he will never let go.

I had pictured my first meeting of Kim to end up in his arms, not quite like this though.

I sat own and played an old Bob Dylan tune. Kim got his steel Drum and played alone. I know the meaning was slightly diffrent, but the love was still there.