Dude looks like a Lady

The club closed at at midnight.

I lost $20 to a lovely lesbian biker couple. My pool hall days never prepared me for them. They invited me to the gallery show opening of their good friend. It is something about women and pain. Something I know well. They also invited me to join them for the night.

I agreed to the art and passed on the group sex. You have to love open relationships. I don't trust them. I don't ever wanted to be a third wheel. But it was nice to be asked. They were the first people interested in me sexually since Mercy was created, I am not even sure if then. It did make me feel a bit alive and that I am a sexual being again. I will always thank them for that.

After the bar closed and the girls were getting into their going home clothes, Mizty asked me to play some music. Something soulful and dark, something sad and strong. Oh so much to choose from, but what does beautiful queens like? Oh they love women larger than life, so large that no man can dear contain them.










"Now baby, you do know how to since the blues. Someday you will have to tell me why." Mitzy put his arm around me and kiss me gently on the check. "But not tonight, because, girlfriend we have got some celebrating to do , after part, it is my man's birthday!" He said standing and smiling making a large stage gesture with his arm like Vanna White to point out Eric.

"Oh, man! Happy birthday Eric!" I jumped up and hugged him. "I'm sorry , I have nothing for you."

"Nonsense, girl." Mitzy was right behind me and coming down to my ear. " He has been saying all day that the goddess of fairies brought you to him today. His birthday present was you. "

" Then off to the after party we go!" I put my guitar away in it's case and strapped it over my back. "Hey wasn't your birthday yesterday" I said as I looked at the clock as we were going out the door.

"Sweetie, the day doesn't end until I close my eyes and sometimes not even then, not where birthdays are concerned. "

Everyone laughed.

"29 is such a big year!" Mitzy proclaimed.

"Yes , indeed, it has been for the last 10 years. SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! the world outside awaits, fairies of the night." And with Eric's words we entered out into the alley to party on into the night from gay bar to gay bar.

I don't remember coming back into the apartment. I don't remember getting undressed. I don't remember crashing on the sofa. I don't remember much more than leaving the to the alley from the last bar to be sick.

Oh, my head. Make the world stop spinning.

"Sorry, sweet Butterfly, I can't do that, you see the world would stop moving and who would I ever banish from the light?"

I opened my eyes to see Eric.

"Come to think if of it, I can think of quite a few people. We'll start with the republican party." He laughed at his own musing.

"Did I say that out loud?" I got out of my mouth. Oh my mouth, did I pack a tooth brush and mouthwash? Oh mouthwash has alcohol in it. The thought made me nauseous.

"Yup. And from the looks of you I better help you to the bathroom."

Before I knew it I was in the bathroom making sick all over the place.

There are some moments in your life that make you realize you are too old for drinking like Peter O'Toole and Richard Harris. They even came to that conclusion at some point. Though it does make for great stories you make up later.

After cleaning the bathroom and myself and washing my mouth out several times with mouthwash, I emerged from the bathroom a new woman.

Ah bright light, bright light. "Sun glasses, anyone have sunglasses?"

This went on for more than a day. I will not bore you with the details but I did like being pampered, I almost faked it for a few more hours. But Mizty caught on quick when I could keep an egg down. He started batting me about with some sort of piece of his long silk scarf that made me stop.

By nighttime I felt better.

By nighttime I was expected to go back to the club. We went early as Mizty preforms in the cabaret.

Mizty asks me to come along with him early. He needs to get ready for the show. He does so many divas. While he and the girls get ready, work out details, etc, he wants me to play.

The owner likes the music. But this is a gay bar. A la cage au faux show. Not meant for the blues. The audience wants outrageous queens to go with their girls night out, bachelorette parties, birthday celebrations or first dates. They do not want to be brought down.

He is fine for me playing for the girls, it makes them happy but lets me know once it is time for the show it is time for me to pack it up.

The people file in and I go back stage, I put my guitar in Mizty's dressing room and stand off sides.

The first night I loved watching her and the other girls. But now I love watching the audience react to them. I have gone up to shy women and told them to just get up there and give them the money. Tips like strippers in their fake bosom brazers.

When Mizty comes out he transforms into the divas of old.

Aretha was the first, the women went wild, so did the guys. But like Chrystal points out in every show, "All your straight girls, the boys all look pretty but they are just not into you."




And that makes this the safest place in the world for a woman like me. Don't get me wrong, I want a man. I want a man like the faux divas are singing about. But I am not in the position to get one. And these very real men, in dresses, shower me with love and kisses. the safest place in the world, like I said, to teach me how to except the love from other adults without the fear of of my heart getting broken in the process.

Eartha Kitt is a favorite of Mizty. She just channelled this great woman.



I Will Survive is many many women's, real and fake, anthem. All the women cheer and stand up. Dancing follows. Such a joyous song for us. It's a good thing the only boys in the club are boys.




Oh I cheered all night and danced on the sidelines and watched the people in the crowd. There is something magical about being here. No one cares if I have a butterfly on my face, if my house if clean enough nor do they care if I have a few extra pounds.

I feel beautiful. In every way. I see beauty in everyone here.




After the show I played a while, as requested by the girls, while they did a meet and great with with people who hung around. A young man , so bright of spirit waits for the slight queen who looks way too much like the real thing. He takes female hormones so his breasts grow in natural. No fake tatas on him. Damn I wish mine looked that good after 4 children.

The young man with the gleam in his eye, acts to cool as he hands her a $20. She excepts is with a smile and a peck to the cheek. He smiles and both know that is all he will get. But he is happy. He walks over to me and hands me a $20 too. I smile at him. And he smiles the sweetest smile. He is so nice. So real about his niceness.

He was the first boy I wished was straight. I stood up and kissed him on the cheek. And he reminded me how much of a beautiful gay man he was by his expression of "awwwww".

It was enviable that if I was here long enough I would start seeing the beautiful boys as more, but so quickly.

I decided that night, I must find a straight guy for a one night stand before I leave. You may ask, why just a one night thing? Well simply put, I can't stay here for ever and I can't bring someone back to the girls either. I put my mind and fantasies into that and let the pretty boys flight of fancy fly right back out of my head.